Wednesday 28 October 2009

Russell's first cock

  • Submitted by: Russell who was walking to work in London, UK

  • Cock in context: at Google Maps

  • Russell says: As you will see, my coin purse gently nestling against the chin of leicester square, the veiny length of the shaft running along SHAFTesbury avenue and the top of the shaft thrusting through the heart of soho ending with the bell end marking the yahoo! european headquarters. The brazilian tuft is where i started the route. I tried to walk around the piss hole in a spacious area around the back of the yahoo! offices but sadly this was not picked up so well with the GPS. :(

    PS. This is my first gps cock and it is a little wobbly due to my amateur 'every 1 metre' settings on GPS tracker. Tracked using my new android G2 phone. I'm sure my next cock will look better..

Sunday 20 September 2009

How to draw a cock on the landscape

It may not be immediately obvious to budding cock-cartographers how best to go about recording their art on a device, ready to submit it here. Here, then, we present some brief guides for various pieces of hardware.


The best app for bringing cock into your life on the iPhone is "Trails". It allows you to monitor where you're walking (ideal for drawing the perfect cock), record waypoints, upload the data to anything you like, import tracks and it's pretty damn accurate. The only downside to it is the fact that you have to pay, however, considering the price is a mere £1.79 it’s not exactly going to put a massive dent in your balance.

To install do the following:
  • Click on the app store button on your iPhone (you should ensure your iPhone is upgraded to the latest software, however it will warn you if you don’t)
  • Search for “trails”
  • Click on Trails GPS Tracker (or whatever it says on your phone)
  • Click on the “buy” button
  • It will ask you for your apple username and password, so enter the details.
  • Click install and it will begin installing the application fairly quickly.
There is no need to sign up for any website.

Wednesday 20 May 2009

Mall cock

  • Submitted by: Darren Foreman who was getting some exercise in London, UK

  • Cock in context: on

  • Darren says "Inspired by Loz's love of our glorious monarch, I decided today to take a wander towards her house after work. When I got there, the opportunity to honour Her Maj in a similar way presented itself to me, so I grasped it with both hands. The bollocks are almost literally on her doorstep -- I wonder if the royal doctor could take a look at the right one..."

Monday 18 May 2009

A cock for the Queen

  • Submitted by: Loz Archer who was taking a lunchtime stroll in London, UK

  • Cock in context: on everytrail

  • Loz says "As soon as I saw this site I thought of St. James' Park lake. Please dedicate my cock to the Queen. Its scrotum begins at Horse Guards' Parade to the east, the shaft extends westward, culminating with the glans aiming squarely at Buckingham Palace, the official residence of the Royal Family. And if you turn the map upside-down, Her Majesty gets a salute she truly deserves."

Friday 15 May 2009

Cock down under

  • Submitted by Kevin Foreman who was having a lunch time walk in Sydney, Australia

  • Cock in context: on Google Maps via

  • Kevin says "I'd heard the GPS rumour and decided to head out at lunch to see if I could pull off a cock in Sydney. Just a small cock."

Thursday 14 May 2009

My first cock

  • Submitted by Darren Foreman who was walking in London, UK

  • Cock in context:

  • Darren says "Needed an opener for the site. Was tracking my walk to Waterloo station with the "tracker" app on my phone when I noticed the shape that was forming as I got south of the river. So I headed round, and north..."